Garden of Rhetoric and Serious

This is my first trip to the blogger and my first submission for our class. I look forward to your comments/suggestions. Penelope

Garden of Rhetoric and Serious

After God completed Heaven and Earth, He became bored and decided to create man. His first attempt was not too shabby. He named his product Adam. Adam was not a curious person; he stayed in the general vicinity of an apple tree and basically hung out in the tree and under it. He was bored. Even the animals that ventured near him because of their curiosity soon left him because he said nothing and did nothing.

God wanted to kick the latest creation up a notch. He created another being—one that Adam could rap with. The creature would be soft, clingy, seductive, and willing to hang around and wrap. Poof! Oops! A lascivious, long, thin undulating creature appeared in the tree. It was Ramage—a real asp. At first the intruder startled Adam but soon the pair worked out a language and together they formed a society.

After an eon to two, Ramage became bored with Adam and asked God if He had time for a tête-à-tête to stretch his intellect a bit. Adam was not interested in intellectual pursuits. God wanted to keep the garden folks happy but he was busy with rearranging the planets in the firmament. Instead, He sent Archangel Kenneth to intellicize with Ramage.

Apparently Ramage’s strong suit was ontology. In essence, he had the inquiries and Archangel Ken had a certain set of properties that makes him distinguishable from every other creature. In order to have spirited conversations, Ram and Ken had to decide who would be the rhetorician—either Ram because of his sneaky, slithering ways—or Ken because of his innate knowledge of proverbial wisdom. Ken decided that because of his hierarchical position, that Ram should be the rhetorician.

“Fine,” said Ram. “How about we begin with proving opposites?”

“Okay,” said Ken. “Let’s check the future and begin with a fable. Ah, yes. Robin Hood. Mr. Hood and his cohorts live rent-free in the local forest of a kingdom. They are happy, carefree, and never hungry. However, life is not the same for the village people. Why, I am seeing a greedy ruler who demands nearly everything from these people so that her coffers overflow with riches.”

“Good heavens, Ken. How long is this fable?”

“Almost there. Mr. Hood takes it upon himself to steal from the greedy bitch and give it to the peasants. Thus, their hunger vanishes and the queen is none the wiser. I say Mr. Hood is a Good Samaritan. Do you agree, Ram?”

“Au contraire, Ken. Mr. Hood is stealing—taking something that is not his. Stealing is wrong and two wrongs do not make a right. How can Mr. Hood be good when he is being bad?”

After much discussion, Ken and Ram agreed to disagree and to revisit the subject in another eon.