Journal Entries: They Tend to Gather up if You Don't Do Them

The Many Meanings of Sorry

Liz brought up some interesting points about public apologies. I definitely agree with Liz: apologizing for such as slavery which happened over one hundred years ago seems like a safe publicity stunt. In fact this political apology is about the only case where apologizing doesn’t lower the person to the status of wrong doer, but elevates the person as a hero willing to admit to injustice. It seems like an apologizing for slavery would not hold Bush accountable to anything. Therefore, it would be an easy apology to make and certainly, not a painful one.

Before I go any farther, I think I should separate apologies into three categories: the band-aid apology, the save-face apology and the real apology. The band-aid apology is worth a nickel. It’s the sorry you say when you bump someone in the hall. Although, it is nice to say, it doesn’t mean that much. I probably use it like twenty million times in one day. The second one is the save-face apology. People use this apology to get someone off their back. Used as a means to look better, this apology requires no remote feelings of contrition. Finally, there is the real apology. Unlike the band-aid apology or the save-face apology, this apology requires action. It’s tough. It often brings painful feelings about wrong, but it changes one’s worldview.

I used that type of apology one time and it sure wasn’t fun. For example, one time I was in a relationship where I manipulated the other person. Although, I didn’t do that deliberately, often my opinions coerced her opinions. When a third party gently pointed that out to me and I realized how I hurt her, I felt horrible about my lack of respect. I went through the painful process of evaluating my actions and my attitudes. I went to her and apologized. The bottom line was: I hated my action and wanted to work on changing it right away. Manipulation was something that I didn’t want in my character. Since then, I was careful not to manipulate other people.

That is an example of what I call a real apology. It wasn’t easy or fun and it brought a change in character. Although I do not have the ability to judge Bush’s motives when he apologized for slavery, I can only speculate about his sincerity through his actions. Maybe if he is truly sorry for how slaves were treated and the many effects such as broken families and poverty, it might eventually come across through showing extra dignity to people.

I believe if Bush were truly sorrowful, he’d first apologize for the failing and then hate slavery. Not only would he hate slavery, maybe he’d hate anything to do with slavery. That sort of apology would affect all areas of his life such as how he treats his family, the laws he enforces and his policies for foreign nations. Maybe if he truly hated slavery, he’d also hate the sweatshops in China where people labour for long hours for dirt pay.

Although, we don’t practice slavery, the act of taking advantage of weaker people greatly influences our everyday life. When I looked up the word slave in Oxford’s dictionary, I saw several definitions. One said a slave is a person who is legal property of another or others and is bound to absolute obedience. We clearly don’t practice that one. But then I saw this definition: A helpless victim of some domineering influence.


Entry for chapter two: the markedness of females

Lakoff introduced a new idea for me about female markedness. For example, in certain contexts man is used to describe both males and the general human population, while the word woman is segregated into its own category. An example of marking would be the doctor profession. Although the word doctor describes a person in a specifically field, usually the word doctor brings a man wearing a white overcoat to mind. As a result, we say woman or lady doctor to describe a woman in the profession. Although I never really thought about female markedess, I do think its sounds funny to say woman doctor if you really think about it. It probably sounds funny to other nations such a Sweden. I also think woman doctor is a term future grandchildren will laugh at.

Through adding “woman” or “lady” before doctor that somehow lowers the qualifications of the doctor. The markedness for the female words infers that men are somehow normal while woman are not normal or less than human.

Although Lakoff, clearly brought up an interesting point, I’m not sure if one should jump to that conclusion right away. What if having a separate category makes her distinct? In some situations having markedness makes something more prestigious. In school, you can take a class or an honor’s class only you qualify. Or if you go to a gas station, you can get regular gas or premium. In this case the extra word is a word of distinction