Where Language War took Me

While reading Language War by Robin Lakoff my mind drifted off to several side bar conversations. To me that is the first sign that I am reading something meaningful.

The first thing that caught my attention was the discussion on the apology and non apology. This tripped me out because a couple of days prior I was having an argument with my one of my male companions Steve* ( its hard being pretty ) Right in the middle of my argument he told me that I was right and said “ I apologize.”
I instantly starting laughing because I realized that he had used one of my own tricks on me.

When ever someone is mad at me about something( especially guys) I let them explain their piece and then I say…

"You know what, Your right..I m sorry”

This is the quickest way for me to end an argument because I am giving them what they want. Of course they are still upset, but what can they say…I apologized. And if they insist on continuing the conversation, I have the right to become irate with them because after all I apologized… What else do you want from me?

This method irritates the hell out of people and it irritated me when Steve apologized. I knew that he had no idea, nor did he care what I was angry about. He just knew that he had taken the heat off of himself.

Robin Lakoff says that in apologies the maker :

(1) Acknowledges wrongdoing

2) Acknowledges that the addressee is the wronged party

(3) Admits needing something (forgiveness) from the addressee to make things RIGHT AGAIN

Although by making the apology you are putting yourself at a vulnerable state by acknowledging that you were wrong, you get credit and are looked at as a humble person worthy of being forgiven. Lakoff explains that it is not important how sincere the apology, it is just important that you make one. This has been my method all along. I should have written this book...lol

However, when it comes to government officials it irritates the hell out of me because I, like the rest of the country knows that they are only doing it because they will be looked badly upon if they don’t.

This is another part of their propaganda tactics along with having speech writers and using professional propagandist such as Luntz who feed politicians word for word what to say.

I also found it comical when Lakoff discussed the current fade of the “un apology.” This is when politicians apologize for events and circumstances that they had no control over or any part of. After reading the examples she gave such as when President Bill Clinton apologized to African American for the Tuskegee syphilis experiments, I did recall hearing apologies by authoritative figures. I always associated these actions as the politicians doing the “RIGHT THING”.

I never thought to associated them with a political tactic.

This then brought me to think about what Lakoff said previously in the chapter about language.

“Language is, and always has been, the means by which we construct and analyze
what we call, reality”

It is the language that the politicians use to persuade and win over the public. And we, the public pay more attention to the words that are coming out of their mouths rather then their actions. We have been programmed by politicians since the beginning of time to believe in what they say. To believe that they have our best interest at heart and if we check box A at the polls THEN they will prove it.