How sincere are apologies?

"The RDA basically told me not to talk to anybody about it," Culbertson said. "They didn’t specifically say don’t talk to the Clearkins...I don’t feel comfortable with the way the process occurred, but all I can do now is say that I’m sorry."These were the words spoken by a city official towards my father’s company, James J. Clearkin, Inc., and the controversial issue of eminent domain in an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer.
Let me give you a little insight as to what the whole process for my father’s company has come to at this point. It was about two years ago that my father’s company was informed of plans to construct new facilities around the area that his business was established. Understanding this, the company approached the co-developer of the new product and asked whether or not they were included in the seizing of property. They were told no, that the plans did not include them. However, the plans changed and the company was not informed until one week before a critical City Council hearing. Conveniently enough for the developer, the company was only informed through a letter, explaining to them that they their property was to be seized. The fight to stay in the place where they had been for eighty-seven years began following that letter.
I do not write this paper to inform you of eminent domain, but more so to the idea of apology. Just looking at the words from Culbertson, who I had quoted to begin this paper, can we honestly say that he is being genuine in what he says? The thing that upsets me in issues such as the one my father’s company is fighting, is the fact people sincerely could care less, yet they still throw out those infamous words of "I’m sorry". Just think back to your day today. How many times did you hear someone utter those words, possibly even you yourself? Now think of in what contexts those words came out of the apology maker’s mouth. More often than not, the utterance of an apology is insincere.
To truly understand an apology or to even make one under the correct circumstances is well explained by Robin Lakoff in her book, The Language Wars. She goes on to explain in one of the chapters of the book that, "In making an apology, the maker (1) acknowledges wrongdoing; (2) acknowledges that the addressee is the wronged party; (3) admits needing something (forgiveness) from the addressee to make things right again."
Can any one of us honestly say that each and every apology that we have given has met these three guidelines laid out for us by Lakoff? I know for one that I have not always met those guidelines, and I am pretty sure I can say that Culbertson falls into the same category, as do each and every one of us. Sure, when we are growing up as a young child and we make a mistake or "boo boo" as some may call it, it is alright for the child to say I’m sorry. The problem with apologies becomes unsettling when people remain in the mind set of the young child and think the expression itself is enough to make up for what they have done. There comes a time when people must start associating responsibility with the idea of an apology. Until then however, people such as Culbertson will make their insincere apologies and others will simple except them thinking, "well at least they made an effort". But as for myself, just as my father’s company is fighting to do, and just as each of us should really consider, we should not stop our fights or withdraw from our arguments until a justified apology is given.